?@&%jeyohwhy

booboos.

now i’m usually pretty chill, but the one thing that still psyches me out every single time is a vaccination.  thankfully, i only got four of them today.  

i’m no good at shots, but at least i don’t bite strangers in defense anymore, which i think is an improvement.  nowadays, at least i try to look at a wall as to not get so queasy.  

what i mean by saying shots still psyche me out is that i kept dramatizing the situation in my head, thinking about nurses playing games of darts with me as the bullseye, and the darts replaced with the whole gamut of giant needle vaccines: 10 points for a flu shot, 25 for hep a, 50 for a typhoid, and 100 points for a straight shot tetanus because they hurt like hell for days.  

and the worst thing is when the young nurse messes up a little with the shot and says, “uh oh.  looks like we hit a sensitive spot, didn’t we?”  voice in my head says, “KDFLSDJFLSDKJF..!  what does that MEAN sensitive spot?!  why the hell is it bleeding so much?!”  

the other thing i mean is that after the consultation at yale health, i just really had a craving for a saf-t-pop.  i mean, c’mon, i thought that was standard procedure.  and what happened to a dunk into the little toy chest?  now, seriously!  

speaking of hurt, you know what else is hurting?  my wallet.  well, not quite.  at first, i didn’t mind paying for the hefty bill i ran up, until i called my dad (because i needed moral support after the harrowing incident), and he told me that once again, i’d been ripped off.  that just goes to show that it doesn’t matter what it is, it could be underwear or fruit or absolutely-necessary-health-procedures-like-vaccinations, and i’d still be blamed for getting ripped off.  

the other advice (well, hardly advice) that my dad gave my pitiable post-shot self was that i shouldn’t have gotten those shots because now i’m just going to get all sorts of fevers and headaches and sores in the next few days because of inactive viruses consorting and running amok.  

at the very least, four vaccinations has now become an excuse to do anything i want and guilt others to treating me nicely.  ”you had a midterm exam today?  oh that’s too bad.  i had four - count ‘em - FOUR vaccinations.  which is worse, hm?  that’s right, that’s right.”  

on my mind

• chocolate-covered madeleines and the 70+ i have made in the last few days.  i think i’m obsessed with the delicious spongey goodness 
  
  
• froco-dom. applying to become a froco.  interviewing to become a froco.  becoming a froco.  i would absolutely love to become a froco, to have freshman babies to make desserts for and care about and help find their way at yale.  it’s something i’ve wanted to do the very moment i started college.  anyway, this has been on my mind a lot lately, since i’m doing my three interviews at the moment. 
• mitt romney’s debate jujitsu and simply inexcusable anti-immigrant accusations during a really entertaining republican debate
  
  
• finding summer jobs.  been applying to certain things that sound interesting.  it’s rough though.  i just talked to people who said they’ve applied to 60 different opportunities to come out with two things, and others who are still waiting to get past the second round i-banking interviews, and still more people who have yet to get first rounds.  i haven’t applied to nearly as many things, so i guess i’m learning that i need to cast a wider net.  sometimes this job hunt can be extremely disheartening.  i’d really love to have a really meaningful, productive summer though, something exciting and fast-paced and challenging…… just like everyone else here.  
• creating a dinner relationship with my french prof from last semester, who is just a really nice woman and kind of hilarious outside of class.  had dinner with last semester’s french class a few nights ago, and it made me realize that i only have 1 1/2 years left here, why NOT invite professors to dinner and such.  they’re people too.  and people need to eat, right?  
  
  
• yesterday evan told me that i absolutely have to rekindle my interest in painting and drawing because i’m lucky to have those skills at all.  he told me that the only reason i don’t make time for it is because of this mindset here that every hour of the day should be spent toward schoolwork or developing marketable skills.  yep, it’s true that it’s easy to become pretty drone-like here, and absolutely, i think i really should put the right side of my noggin into practice again.  i’m always saying this but maybe i should do more to make this happen.
• a no-sew fleece blanket that i made for evan’s belated christmas present, after waiting for joann.com to take nearly 3 weeks to ship me fabric.  nonetheless, very proud of this idea.  

dr turin on nepal

http://markturin.commons.yale.edu/

^ this man came to talk to our reach out group today.  i have right now written in my notebook the word “BRILLIANT” in all caps under his name.  

i was blown away by his perceptiveness, vast knowledge, and eloquence as a researcher of the himalayan region, his fluent nepali, and especially his deadpan british wit.  he was so inspiring, i couldn’t help but imagine myself too in nepal, smitten with the nepali culture as he had been, trying my hand at nepali with locals… his hilarious stories about nepali mothers and the 12 babies they wanted to entrust you with and nepalis who wanted to breach the unspoken urinal laws of men and the horrendously un-photogenic tendencies of villagers… his advice about men talking only to men and you triangulating the conversation… his provocative insistence of nepal as a poor, landlocked country turned technological and political leapfrog, turned emerging land of nuance and sophistication.  i loved also his strong faith in the power of languages and cross-cultural communication.  i do believe now that this is why i love the french language so much, because i’ve been able to open up an entire population to me with what i have learned.  i am really inspired to try and pick up some key phrases in nepali, too.  he put a life in nepal that i hadn’t seen before.  

news

here is a goal of mine this semester:

i would like to follow the news more rigorously than i had previously.  

highs and lows of the week

highs:

• finally finished and turned in my fellowship application, the results of which i hardly care about anymore because i’m so ecstatic that it’s finally out of my hands so i can actually focus on my life.  
• turned in my schedule today.  taking a pretty round five classes, mostly seminars.  something i’m happy about is that i scheduled this semester so i’ve nothing on fridays(!!!) and as compacted of a courseload as possible - meaning no unnecessary 1 1/2 hour gaps between classes where i don’t do anything but waste time.  in general i wish the course offerings this year were better, but i think i will probably adapt to this current happiness level, as all are apt to do, so it doesn’t matter anyway.  i’m really pumped for my french courses, really really pumped, and because of this i am always happy to do all of the readings (which usually never happens for me) and this is just very satisfying altogether.  i’m excited that prof. wood is coming back from sabbatical next year and that the french course offerings next year are going to be absolutely splendid.
• the french honey - miel de bruyère - that i got for evan has been such a delicious breakfast staple!  i think he likes it a lot, which makes me happy.  

lows:

• i haven’t seen a dentist in the longest time, and yesterday i brushed my molars and found that the very gap where there would be wisdom teeth started bleeding a little from the abrasion.  hope this doesn’t mean they are coming in.  
• losing sleep from shopping period and application writing and pile-ups of homework.  also coffee does absolutely nothing to wake me up but make me bitchy.
• some really inane and bullshitty discussions in my past few seminars.  i guess it’s better than overly academic, self-important section assholes.  
• need to write a little paper for the last fellowship… meep.  
• went to the travel clinic this morning, and i think i will probably need like ten vaccinations to go to nepal… blurg.  i can’t remember the last time i got one.  but did i ever tell you i’ve bitten a stranger before because i didn’t want to get a shot?